Ray from the Windy City

Raymond from Chicago writes:

My girlfriend and I have been living together for over three years and until last week she has always been faithful to me. Last week she went to Boston to attend her high school reunion, and I knew as soon as she returned that something had happened over the weekend. I pressed her to tell me what she had done and she was quick to tell me that she had not had sex. Still I could see she was hiding something, and I demanded to know the truth. Finally after much prodding she broke down and told me that after quite a few drinks she went home with an old girl friend and during the course of the night the two had become “intimate”. I was furious of course and demanded to know the details of this “intimacy”. Let’s just say they “pleasured” each other all night, although I did finally get a detailed account. My girlfriend insists that she didn’t cheat on me because she was drunk and what she did was not like having sex with another guy. I am not buying that. We agreed to write to you and get your opinion.

Sheepshag:

Whoa dude, they could use your interrogation skills at Guantanamo. You sound like a dog with a bone, and I don’t mean to pick. You sure you weren’t secretly getting off on hearing the “detailed account”?
Here’s the thing man, she probably didn’t tell you because she was drunk, and who knows how she feels about what she did. So, dude, if you really care about this chick you are in a bit of a Catch 22. On the one hand she may, in the sober light of day, feel embarrassed, uncomfortable, or possibly regretful, in which case insisting that she describe every stroke or touch won’t help her. On the other hand, she may have really enjoyed the encounter and you, acting like the Gestapo, remind her why this girlfriend was so comforting.
Are you two really debating whether or not she had sex, or whether or not she cheated on you, or are you just pissed because you weren’t there?
Chill out dude. Yeah, the Billy Clinton defence is bullshit. A bush in the hands of two birds is worth it if they are into each other and no harm comes of it, but it is sex. Why not ask your girlfriend how she feels about what happened, and learn something about her that will help your relationship instead of measuring her up for an orange body suit and ankle bracelets?

Ask the Sheepshag Shaman a question, but remember, “If you can’t handle the answer, don’t ask the question.”