It's all Greek to Travis

Travis from Milwaukee writes:

I arranged to have the kids looked after and took my wife, Carla, to Greece to celebrate our seventh anniversary. I had planned a romantic, fun trip and the first day of site seeing went well, but now things have become really weird. On the second day I took Carla to a local beach that a friend had recommended only to find that it was topless, and for some, completely nude. Ann became really angry and accused me of choosing the beach just so I could ogle the women. I offered to leave but she said “Oh no, if its hedonism you want its hedonism you’ll get,” stripped off her top and proceeded to flirt with a bunch of Greek men on the beach. I didn’t even know what hedonism meant until I went back to the hotel and looked it up. She won’t let me touch her, tonight, and has said that she plans to go back to the same beach tomorrow. I am really worried that she plans to go without me. What should I do here? Please reply promptly as it will be daylight in a few hours.

Sheepshag:

Chill out man! You insult this Hedonist. If you looked up the Greek word you know that Hedonism is making pleasure life’s highest good. It doesn’t necessarily mean debauchery, although for some that’s a rush.
Seriously, dude, this could be the best vacation ever! First, I would bet my left eye that the problems that you face with your wife started a long time before you reached that beach in Greece.
Seventh year itch, dude, read about it. Sounds like you had the right idea about the Greek holiday, but now you are faced with a difficult problem. Carla thinks that you are more attracted to other women than to her, so off with the top and “tit-for tat” with the Greek dudes on the beach.
My guess is that you haven’t paid much attention to her lately. Think about it, dude, when was the last time you told her how much you loved her, how sexy she is, how she is the only woman who matters to you, and actually meant it. Women know if you are faking it, man, even if you are really good at pretending. They need to hear you say it and mean it, dude. Trust me, thinking it when you’re in the mood, but not actually verbalizing it don’t fly.
But listen up, man, you have an opportunity here. Don’t, I mean don’t try to have sex with her if she is pissed with you and thinks you are into other women. Don’t suggest it, make a move for it, or even appear interested in it.
Talk to her about how you are feeling, and let her know that she did make you jealous when she was at the beach with those Greek guys, but it got you to thinking about how much you loved her and were afraid to lose her, even to the extent that you wrote to me in desperation, (naw, scratch the last bit.)
Tell her that she was right, at least in part, that you did go to the beach to check out the women, but all you saw were a bunch of boobs and that she is the only woman who interests you, then tell her how lucky you are to have her as your wife and the mother of your kids. Make it a tender moment, dude, and only touch her if she invites it.
Tomorrow take her to the beach and introduce yourself to the Greek gods before she does. Let them know you are the Alpha male and that your wife is hot but you are cool and party on!

Ask the Sheepshag Shaman a question, but remember, “If you can’t handle the answer, don’t ask the question.”