Houston from New Orleans writes:
Help me to understand what is going on here. I work in construction and my day starts at 6:30 am. My wife of ten years has discovered twitter and now spends all her time both day and night on the damned computer talking to strangers about stuff that is personal to us. Before that it was Facebook. I have tried to be understanding, but when I get home I am tired and hungry and I get angry when I find her sitting in front of her computer chatting, and laughing along with people, who mean nothing to me, but seem to mean everything to her. I am all but ignored. What the f... is going on here?
Sheepshag:
Hey, man, my condolences. From what you describe, it sounds like your wife has a serious case of the twitavian bird flu which has made her tweet on twitter, and birds of a feather flock together. The United Nations has just declared twitavian flu a global pandemic. It is terminal, dude.
Just messing with you, man, I just made that up. Check it out. There are only three kinds of people in this world. Those who lead the parade, those who march in the parade, and those who stand on the sidelines and watch the parade go by. Sounds like you fit into the last category. If your wife fits into either of the other two, Houston, you may have a problem.
You come home tired and hungry and expect that she is going to drop everything and wait on you... did I get that right?
Dude you can hardly expect someone marching in a parade, much less someone who is leading it to stop and spend time with someone who is content to sit on the sideline and watch the world go by. Get engaged man, or learn to cook.
Send Sheepshag a question - but remember if you can't handle the answer don't ask the qauestion.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Brit's been Buffaloed
Brittney from Buffalo writes:
I have been dating my boyfriend for about 8 months now but think that he loves his cats more than he loves me. I knew when I met him that he loved his kitties and he even started calling me kitten right after our first date. I thought it was really cute at first and loved that he liked animals so much but now I am not so sure. He has 5 cats and they all sleep with him at night. There is hardly any room left for me in the bed and I often have to move to the couch. I complained to him and told him that I didn't think it was fair that I had to sleep on the couch while his "other kittens" took over my side of the bed. He told me that I was being selfish and demanding. What do you think?
Sheepshag:
Hey Brit nice to hear from the chicks. I usually get sobs stories from the dudes. But seriously, lover, this guy is a freak! When most guys talk about taking puss to bed they don’t mean the four legged feline variety!
If you really want a serious relationship with this furball, then you had better start drawing some lines. Like, how about, “My name is Brittney I am human not a cat, and if you insist on calling me kitten, I know of one pussy that will put the boot to you!” That would be a good start.
If you don’t draw lines, then before long, he’ll start serving you a saucer of milk while he chews on a BBQ’d stake!
It’s not my place to tell you if you should try to hang with this freaky dude or not, that’s your call, but if you do choose to stay and he won’t respect the lines you draw, then bring home a dog; something sporty, with lots of energy and really smart, like a Border Collie. Trust me their instincts for herding would be perfect for that pride of five. Invite your new puppy onto the bed at night and tell your boyfriend that he has already learned to catch balls!
Ask the Sheepshag Sharman a question, but remember, “If you can’t handle the answer, don’t ask the question.”
I have been dating my boyfriend for about 8 months now but think that he loves his cats more than he loves me. I knew when I met him that he loved his kitties and he even started calling me kitten right after our first date. I thought it was really cute at first and loved that he liked animals so much but now I am not so sure. He has 5 cats and they all sleep with him at night. There is hardly any room left for me in the bed and I often have to move to the couch. I complained to him and told him that I didn't think it was fair that I had to sleep on the couch while his "other kittens" took over my side of the bed. He told me that I was being selfish and demanding. What do you think?
Sheepshag:
Hey Brit nice to hear from the chicks. I usually get sobs stories from the dudes. But seriously, lover, this guy is a freak! When most guys talk about taking puss to bed they don’t mean the four legged feline variety!
If you really want a serious relationship with this furball, then you had better start drawing some lines. Like, how about, “My name is Brittney I am human not a cat, and if you insist on calling me kitten, I know of one pussy that will put the boot to you!” That would be a good start.
If you don’t draw lines, then before long, he’ll start serving you a saucer of milk while he chews on a BBQ’d stake!
It’s not my place to tell you if you should try to hang with this freaky dude or not, that’s your call, but if you do choose to stay and he won’t respect the lines you draw, then bring home a dog; something sporty, with lots of energy and really smart, like a Border Collie. Trust me their instincts for herding would be perfect for that pride of five. Invite your new puppy onto the bed at night and tell your boyfriend that he has already learned to catch balls!
Ask the Sheepshag Sharman a question, but remember, “If you can’t handle the answer, don’t ask the question.”
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Alice on the vine
Alice from Yakima writes:
I have known Trevor since we were in grade 9. He was my BFF all through high school. We always hung out together and did almost everything together. I say almost, because he never kissed me, or even touched me in a way that could be construed as sexual. After I graduated I lost touch with him. I left for college and he went to work in his dad’s winery. Last week I returned to Yakima after four years absence, and guess who I met at the local pub. You got it, Trevor. He is so handsome, and his smile just melted me I was so happy to see him, and he seemed happy to see me. I asked him if he was married or had a girlfriend and he just laughed and said, “you know, Alice, there will never be anyone else for me but you. We are best friends for ever, remember?” I was shocked and thought he might be joking. He has never signalled that he was interested in me in that way, although I have given him plenty of signs about how I feel toward him. What should I do? I am afraid that if tell him how I feel that he won’t feel the same way and I will lose his friendship.
Sheepshag:
Ok, so listen up lover, sounds like your man is much like the wines he makes in Yakima, falling short of his potential.
Clearly Trev is into you or he wouldn’t have spent so much time with you. If this dude is as good looking and charming as you say, then there has to be a reason why some other chick hasn’t sucked on his grapes.
Lots of guys don’t have a clue about how to even approach the subject of doing it steady with a chick, much less setting up the wild thing. Sounds to me like Trevor’s that kind of dude. Take heart, some of the best catches out there fall into this category, so it’s going to be up to you to make a move.
As for worrying about losing his friendship, hell, don’t. Dudes like Trevor aren’t the kind to blow you off because you spit out your heart and hand it to him. Worst case, he’ll dust it off and hand it back, but I doubt that will be the outcome.
Watch how you go about this though. You want to come across smooth, like a fine Hermitage made from the Syrah grape; full-bodied with a hint of black currant, plums, and spices. Let him know you will go well with his filet mignon.
Try not to get too heavy like a Merlot, or you’ll muddy up the situation and he won’t enjoy the taste.
So you go, girl and let him see and feel your passion. Be the vintner that turns this mush into your main man. Press him firm but not too hard, and slowly let it ferment, but remember don’t let it age too long or you’ll be dealing with vinegar.
Ask the Sheepshag Sharman a question, but remember, “If you can’t handle the answer, don’t ask the question.”
I have known Trevor since we were in grade 9. He was my BFF all through high school. We always hung out together and did almost everything together. I say almost, because he never kissed me, or even touched me in a way that could be construed as sexual. After I graduated I lost touch with him. I left for college and he went to work in his dad’s winery. Last week I returned to Yakima after four years absence, and guess who I met at the local pub. You got it, Trevor. He is so handsome, and his smile just melted me I was so happy to see him, and he seemed happy to see me. I asked him if he was married or had a girlfriend and he just laughed and said, “you know, Alice, there will never be anyone else for me but you. We are best friends for ever, remember?” I was shocked and thought he might be joking. He has never signalled that he was interested in me in that way, although I have given him plenty of signs about how I feel toward him. What should I do? I am afraid that if tell him how I feel that he won’t feel the same way and I will lose his friendship.
Sheepshag:
Ok, so listen up lover, sounds like your man is much like the wines he makes in Yakima, falling short of his potential.
Clearly Trev is into you or he wouldn’t have spent so much time with you. If this dude is as good looking and charming as you say, then there has to be a reason why some other chick hasn’t sucked on his grapes.
Lots of guys don’t have a clue about how to even approach the subject of doing it steady with a chick, much less setting up the wild thing. Sounds to me like Trevor’s that kind of dude. Take heart, some of the best catches out there fall into this category, so it’s going to be up to you to make a move.
As for worrying about losing his friendship, hell, don’t. Dudes like Trevor aren’t the kind to blow you off because you spit out your heart and hand it to him. Worst case, he’ll dust it off and hand it back, but I doubt that will be the outcome.
Watch how you go about this though. You want to come across smooth, like a fine Hermitage made from the Syrah grape; full-bodied with a hint of black currant, plums, and spices. Let him know you will go well with his filet mignon.
Try not to get too heavy like a Merlot, or you’ll muddy up the situation and he won’t enjoy the taste.
So you go, girl and let him see and feel your passion. Be the vintner that turns this mush into your main man. Press him firm but not too hard, and slowly let it ferment, but remember don’t let it age too long or you’ll be dealing with vinegar.
Ask the Sheepshag Sharman a question, but remember, “If you can’t handle the answer, don’t ask the question.”
Marcus from Tulsa Oklahoma writes:
Now that we are married Michelle insists that she drives the car and I am passenger. She never used to do that when we were dating, but since the wedding her attitude has changed. I have tried to talk to her about it, but she has become much more demanding and bossy. It is really embarrassing for me. None of my friends let their wives drive them around. What should I do?
Sheepshag:
Sell the car and buy a motorcycle, dude. She is far less likely to want to drive that and it will provide you with a very fast get away; I have the feeling you’re going to need one.
Ask the Sheepshag Sharman a question, but remember, “If you can’t handle the answer, don’t ask the question.”
Now that we are married Michelle insists that she drives the car and I am passenger. She never used to do that when we were dating, but since the wedding her attitude has changed. I have tried to talk to her about it, but she has become much more demanding and bossy. It is really embarrassing for me. None of my friends let their wives drive them around. What should I do?
Sheepshag:
Sell the car and buy a motorcycle, dude. She is far less likely to want to drive that and it will provide you with a very fast get away; I have the feeling you’re going to need one.
Ask the Sheepshag Sharman a question, but remember, “If you can’t handle the answer, don’t ask the question.”
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